"How do you make the hard decisions? How do you know when you've made the right one? How do you take your heart out of the equation and how do you know when to let it lead you? How do you get the pain to stop and the tears to dry? How do you get rid of the fear? The fear of not knowing? Fear of being wrong? Or worse, the fear of being right?! I don't know these answers, yet these questions plauge me morning noon, and night! They are my constant companions. Closer than any friends, deadlier than any foes, and more apart of my mind than the thoughts of how to breath or how to move!!" Sarianna turned once more as she paced and flung her hands up to her head and grabbed hand fulls of hair.
"My my....who would of ever taken you for the 'poet' type? Full of flare and dramatic pose." But Sarianna missed the twinkle in the brown eyes, as well as the wink, as she turned to pace back in the other direction.
"Sarianna," came the cool calm voice of her White Warrior, who turned a Lilac colored glare to Ralpha, the Red Warrior sitting there with the grin still on his face. "Sarianna, we don't expect you to have all the answers."
"I DO!!" The Priestess turned suddenly and bore down on her two Warriors. The two Warriors that were many years her Senior, her mentors, and in very many ways like the parents she had lost. Yet she advanced with green eyes widened, the unshed tears glistend and seemed to give her eyes a heated blaze.
"How can I lead this group to stand up to the War Lord when we finally face him, when I'm not even sure of how to DO IT!? How can I stand there and pretend to be the leader when none of these answers come to me? HOW can I accept the full responisblity of the title "Priestess" if I do not have the wisdom to know the difference between what I need to do and what I don't need to do?! And how, how am I supposed to carry on when my h-h-hea....," suddenly the words seemed to stick as her hand hovered over a spot on her chest, "when my h-heart feels like a lump in my chest," the tears finally broke and Sarianna found she didn't care to stop the breach. "He's gone Iza! GONE!! My light! My r-rock! My Warr-Warrior...NO!" The Priestess suddenly straightened. She pressed her lips firmly together and shook her head a small fraction. "No. He was more than my Warrior, more than just a part of some story or quest. He was my friend...he IS my friend. I love him Iza," she said as her voice softend and the dark green of her eyes began to pale under the new brimming of tears. "I've loved him for awhile now. He was more than just the Yellow Warrior, Protector of my heart. He was the missing part of me and I, well I'd like to think, I-I was the m-m-missing part of him?"
Sarianna looked to her White Warrior, Aliza, a look that pulled at the older woman's heart strings in ways words were not strong enough too. The Warrior with her long white hair and lilac colored eyes stepped forward and opened her arms. It was all the invite Sarianna needed, she rushed to the comfort and felt it seal around her like a hearth warmed blanket to block out a winter chill. She buried her face and let the sobs come as they may. Aliza, to her credit, did not try to stop the flow or whisper, "It's okay." She just held her Priestess, a young girl she had come to see as the daughter she would never have, and let the pain douse it self in the pain
-work in progress....it's late...I'm falling asleep..... >_<
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