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"How do I know this is real?" Sarianna just stood and looked at the back of her Yellow Warrior where he leaned, almost doubled over, against a slender trunk. "How do I know this is mine?" Sarianna opened her mouth to answer but instead left it hanging open before she ducked her head and chewed on her bottom lip.
Abruptly Taren spun around on her, his hair pointing out in different directions & his blue eyes wide and wild. "How do I KNOW!" he shouted into her face. The young Priestess cringed back from him and threw her hands up in front of her.
"Wha-what are you talking about," she finally managed to croak out.
His eyes narrowed & his lips compressed into a thin line and twisted to one side. "Don't tell me you don't know. You feel what I feel. I feel what you feel." Sarianna could only stand and stare. At her expression anger arked through him, thereby her as well. Then suddenly his hand shot out and grabbed hers in an iron grip. With a quick jerk he pulled her hand back towards himself and laid it against his wide muscled chest. "That, tell me you feel that."
Sarianna swallowed a lump that appeared in her throat and fought to bring moisture back into her mouth. "Y-y-yes," she stammered out. For against her palm she felt the quick thumbing of Taren's heart.
"How do I know it is real?" he asked, this time his voice a lower decimal and without the harsh edge to it. Sarianna bravely looked up into those blue orbs just inches above her own green ones and had to intake a sharp breath. His color had deepened yet softened at the same time. There was a haunted look to them, yet a smoldering hooded appearance too. A jolt shot through her system and goosebumps broke out over her skin. She could not seem to take a full breath and instead they came as short quick gasps while tingles coursed down her spine. "I feel that," he continued, "each little emotion you go through." He paused and Sarianna watched as Taren's eyes broke contact to travel over the lines of her face. It felt as though with each pass a fiery trail blazed across her brow, along her cheek, & down her nose with each path ending at her lips. "Yet this," he breathed out in a low voice, "this feels like my own. This desire to be closer, to-" He paused once more as he closed his eyes and leaned forward.
Inside Sarianna's heart was doing flips and swinging from the bones of her rib cage; her lungs stopped working. Taren continued to lean forward until his nose brushed her hair line. Then he took a deep breath. "Even her smell," he whispered and let out a sigh. "But I can't be sure." The edge was back in his voice and as Sarianna glanced up she saw that he had reopened his eyes. Only as she watched the deep soft look faded in those blue depths, his jaw tightened back up, and his body straightened. "No, I can't be sure at all." He dropped her hand as though it burned him and he stepped back.
Now she understood and she could not blame him, for these same thoughts had crossed her mind. This attraction, this connection, she worried was not her own too. Maybe it was the Warrior Bond that drew them together like this. Only, she felt nothing like this for any of her other Warriors. Maybe it had to do with him being connected to her heart and therefore her emotions. Maybe it was just her that felt something and Taren was reacting to it. Either way the questions and their answers did not make things easier between them. Across from her, Taren gave his head a slight shake as he squeezed his eyes shut with a furrowed brow. "How can I be sure?"
"I don't know," Sarianna blurted out. Taren's eyes snapped open and he regarded her with speculation across the small bit of space between them. "I'm not really sure what is what Taren, I'm sorry." She titled her head to the side as she looked down and away from him. "I'd like to think what we feel is our own, that-that,"she faltered and had to take a deep breath. "That what we feel is ours and the bond only increases it. But," she paused again and darted a quick glance up at her Yellow Warrior, "I'm not sure either." He nodded his head and seemed to accept this.
The Yellow Warrior released her hand that lay against his chest and stepped back, away from her, but Sarianna called out to him. "Taren?" He stopped and raised sky colored eyes to look back at his Priestess. "I'm sorry, if it turns out this is part of the whole," she paused and gestured with her hands through the air, "whole magic thing, then I'm sorry if it made you like me, sorry if it has made you regret anything, sorry it made you care anything for me, sorry-"
"Stop!" He was instantly in front of her, a hand on the upper part of each arm as he gave her a little shake. "I regret nothing!" His eyes bore down into hers with a fierceness she had never seen out of him before. "Do you hear me? No matter how this turns out, I regret nothing. Meeting you, getting to know everyone, it opened me up. Made me realize I was dead inside and now suddenly I'm alive." His hands relaxed and with out knowing it his thumbs were gently caressing her shoulders of their own accord. "I never had anything close to a family growing up. Now I've got more than I really want." A light brown brow arched up into the bangs that just covered his forehead and his lips quirked into the beginnings of a smile on one side of his mouth. "How could I regret that?"
Sarianna felt her own lips lift in answer and relief settle in around her like a light shawl. Yes, how could anyone regret that? A pestering older brother like Tensche, a quite & patient older sister like Taila, the steady-like-a-rock Stovo, great-giving-advice Jogi, annoying older sister Shandra, and the parental figures of Aliza and Ralpha. Family...a family unlike the one she had lost, yet somehow so much more. Goosebumps prickled along her expose arms & tickled the pit of her stomach, while the skin around her eyes tightened and burned. In front of her Taren grew very still and his thumbs stopped dead.
"What's this," he breathed out in a husky tone. Sarianna smiled and felt her stomach muscles clinch as a half laugh bubbled up inside and tears brimmed.
"Would you believe happiness?" She knew her green eyes were glistening with un-shed tears and even without the bond she could tell Taren thought her crazy.
"Then why do you look like you're about to cry?" He slowly removed his hands while he hesitantly took a step back.
"Because I am," and she reached up to dash away a tear that had grown brave enough to take the dive over the edge. When she looked back up light brown brows had met over widened eyes. She could not stop the giggle that bubbled out and it jiggled more tears loose to fall over her sun colored cheeks.
Taren pressed one hand over his stomach and the other crossed over to rub the left side of his chest. "This is weird," he muttered and looked at Sarianna accusingly, which only made her actually laugh out loud. Then the tears really did fall, hot and bitter yet sweet and refreshing. Once the doors where open Sarianna couldn't stop them; all the years came flooding through in wet revenge. She fell to her knees and hiccuped through the sobs, and laughed too. Taren fell to his own knees beside her, one hand still pressed to his chest while the other supported his weight against the ground. "Ow, how can you stand this?" he asked in a strained voice but Sarianna could not answer.
Inside feelings and memories merged, yet with each that happened the ache she had carried in the pit of her stomach eased just a little and then a little more. Her mother smiling as Sarianna proudly exclaimed she had accomplished something and then remembrance of Aliza and her words of praise to show she had seen Sarianna's mark of improvement. Jo'athan as he patiently showed Sarianna how to plant a little seed when she was five; Stovo as he showed Sarianna how he carved the little stone pieces he carried in his leather pouch and Jogi as he took his time to make sure Sarianna had the right hold and stance with his long blade sword. Yes she had lost much and she missed her family dearly, that was something that would never change. Yet in everything that was lost it had been regained and it was now more than what she had started with. The thought brought her peace and she had felt so guilty, but now she was free. Sarianna leaned her head back and gazed up at the pale blue sky with its white fluffy clouds. Wet streaks ran from the corner of her eyes and dribbled down her neck, but she cared not. A warmth spread from somewhere deep within and radiated from her face in the smile that carved its self along her lips.
With a deep shuddering breath the tears left her, but the feeling of peace remained. She lowered her head and found Taren studying her. She lifted one corner of her mouth in answer and felt heat flame across her cheeks.
"That," he began then paused as he looked at her a moment longer. "That was weird." Sarianna dropped her gaze and brushed away wetness with the back of her hand. "How long have you held that back?"
"A while," she mumbled.
"Don't do it again," he grumbled, "for both our sakes." He pushed himself up from the ground and dusted forest debris from his knees. Then he stopped and regarded Sarianna once more in that quite way of his. But before she really start to feel uneasy he reached a hand down, palm side up. She looked from the hand to his face but could not gauge what she saw there. Tentatively she took his hand in hers and allowed her Yellow Warrior to pull her to her feet. But when she would of let go he held on, a strange look on his face. She turned her free hand, palm out, and ran her first two fingers from temple to ear just under the hair line and tucked the strand there back behind her left ear.
Taren watched the gesture and then surprised her by smiling. "You do that when you're unsure about something. Or embarrassed." He eyes fell back on her face and a yellow light danced in his blue eyes. "You chew your bottom lip when you're thinking or worrying about something." Sarianna stopped in mid action of pulling her bottom lip in to chew on it. "And you tug on the end of your sleeves until they cover your hands when you feel subconscious. Or when Shandra has slighted you." Sarianna's breath caught as she looked at this man before her. He squeezed her hand and leaned down to peer closer. "I know these things without even thinking about them. But I still don't understand why you cry when you shouldn't and why you don't when you should."
Sarianna shrank a little under the sudden intense gaze and turned her eyes away. Tall Aspen trees stood around them with their light trunks while their pale green leaves fluttered in a light breeze. White clouds continued on above in their lazy pace while the world passed much quicker below them. A deep sigh escaped her lips at the sight and suddenly words found their way into her mouth.
"I cried a little when I first found out about what happened to my villiage, I cried alot when I first saw the burned remains, but I never really let go. I've always felt guilty that I had remained alive, untouched, while others' lives got cut short. I hated every time tears have threatened to fall or worse when I couldn't keep them back. I've hated this trip, hated that fate had spared me for its own purpose and secretly mourned everything that I had lost and thought I could never have again. But you're right," Sarianna turned to her Warrior not knowing that the glowing smile had returned. "I do have a family and it is okay to love them! What a relief!" One small and final tear fell and Taren watched it trace a line over the curve of her cheek, then down the line of her chin. "I can let go now, with no shame."
"That was why you felt sad and happy?" Sarianna nodded at Taren's question and he nodded once in response. "Emotions are really confusing." Sarianna giggled in mirth behind her hand and when Taren looked at her with his furrowed raised brow and wide eyes she leaned her head back and let her laugh have full rein.
Back at camp Aliza sat at one of the small fold up tables with Ralpha and twirled a mug as its contents swirled around inside. She suddenly stopped and warm liquid poured over the side onto her hand. Ralpha was instantly on the alert, half out of the chair and a hand on the hilt of his sword. Aliza waved him back down impatiently as her eyes glazed over while she accessed that internal spot connected to her Priestess. "She's okay you big ox."
"But-" he began only to have Aliza wave him to silence. Then suddenly she went lax and the cup would of fallen had Ralpha not been poised on the ready and deftly snatched it out of her hand. "What is it?" he asked softly.
Aliza turned her violet colored eyes to the Red Warrior and he saw shock gaze back at him. "Peace."
"What? That doesn't make sense." Ralpha was about to rise from his kneeled postion when Aliza rested a hand on his arm that made him still as nothing else could.
"Her soul has always carried this certain edge to it, not quite resting, but now..." she gazed off at nothing again and the edges of her lips curled up. "The edge is gone and she is at peace, she's okay Ral!" A warmth bloomed within and Aliza felt light herself as she beamed a smile at her fellow Warrior.
Ralpha ducked his head to block away the sight of Aliza's transformed face. It brought out an echo from areas he had buried within, places he no longer allowed himself to dwell. He already thought it was bad enough that a pleasing shock had gone through him at Aliza's use of his old name. He used the excuse of getting to his feet to keep from looking at her again.
"You know what this means don't you?" Ralpha, caught up in his own thoughts stilled with this question and thought an answer that had nothing to do with Priestess Sarianna.
"Uh, No," he grumbled out.
"She's with Taren right now and I think our suspensions might be true." Aliza beamed from ear to ear and leaned back in her chair. "Oh yes, this is going to require watching very carefully." Suddenly a giggle bubbled forth out of Aliza's mouth which she quickly clamped a hand over. Ralpha could not help but look at the White Warrior with that uncharacteristic behavior coming forth. "Oh, yes, VERY careful watching!" she exclaimed when she seemed in control of herself once more.
Internally Ralpha smiled. They're not the only ones he thought to himself.
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(end of that chapter)
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